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Hey Hey!
First and foremost , It’s been a pretty darn looooong time SINCE i last touch this BLOG of mine. Well, This year 2009 have been a very HECTIC life for me. With all the resolutions which i made to myself, i didnt even fullfilled it! Don’t get me started now on my list, it’s never ending.. it’s good enough am here to pen down all of my thoughts for the past 6 months or so. Seeing this posted out in about 2 hours time will be a shock to many.. Esp those who are expecting to hear or see new things bout me? Well, guys granting you people your wishes.
Life is just like a roller coaster or to better quote from my blood bro, ” Life always moves in a circle. You’ll experience your ups and your downs. No matter how bad ya at ya lowest peak, you’ll rise to ya highest peak once again.” Well, we are all actors and actresses whose starring in the biggest movie ever. Our lifes been pre destined, be it good or bad but ultimately it’s how you want to make a difference in your life and others, that’s the most important part of all. Going through my journey for the past 6 months wasn’t easy at all, Especially the company have roll the number of camps twice as much as what we last year. It’s been that busy til my team have changed and it’s affecting everyone one way or another. The best thing is that everyone noticed it too which is GOOD! Political issues… Personal issues… Friendship issues.. Family issues… Monetary issues.. all was just in a big chunky mess. Through observation , dedication, and obligation which made us realise all of these problems and slowly sorting it out one by one. One thing which my team was blessed with, was a hardworking and dedicated Team Leader. Without him, thnigs will just get worsen through and through and by the time that happens all hells break loose! i’m seriously honoured and blessed to have him as not only as a team leader .. not only as a friend .. not only as a mentor .. but as a brother whom i always look up too. I owe him part of life to him for without him, i would’nt be the guy i am today even though i can be a screw up at times or messy with my paper work or just plain stubborn, his support was countless! Thank You very much Jeremy Tang. Really appreciate all ya time and effort invested in me and the people around us. You definately make a difference in everyone of us.
This year, i have been taking more important contracts like high risks kids from MCYS and Mendaki and their duration varies from 4D3N – 5D4N. With that duration and handling these bunch of kids ain’t easy. At first, you can see me cursing and swearing from the bottom of my heart but as i took more contracts like this i tend to love it more and more. It’s the feelings and the bondness you get from these bunch of kids. Society always have a negative concept bout these kids but honestly they are nice kids.. they are fun kids.. they are trustworthy kids, it’s just that they have been influenced too much on the dark side. You need to understand and learn where they first come from, what kind of background are they from, what kind of problems they face day by day. Tell you you would feel sorry for them. The more you think negatively bout them, the more they will show you how negative these they can behave. Humans are such, you inject positivity in them, they will have that positivity mindset BUT if you inject them with negativity then negativity is what you get.. So please stop judging them by their outer appearances or character yet understand them and judge them by their inner soul.. After all we are all humans, and everyone deserves a chance to correct their mistake. It’s all bout giving chances and believing in them and I’m pretty sure they will do the society good. It’s definately an eye opener for me and it’s amazing at how much you actually learn from these kids.Thank you for giving me such opportunities like this. am handling the 3 run for Mendaki but unfortunately i’m down for reservist. Was pretty upset at first as i was looking forward to the camp where i could share and guide these kids to the correct paths. i may not be the best of the best but i feel i can really connect with the kids. Thanks to Jeremy’s opnion, i’m actually defferring my reservist for this year just to spend my time with these wonderful kids. Honestly for them, i would sacrifice and go the extra mile just to spend time with these kids, bringing them through the camp sharing and guiding them and importantly to be able to change their mindset to be a better person in society..
Interestingly enough despite being all busy and spending lesser time with my family, friends and importantly with my ownself, Interestingly enough was caught by surprise. Never could imagine that the impossible turns out to be possible. Haha.. all i could say fate brought us together. Looking back on our little history we had, where i’m always disturbing you to a point ya hated me so much as to not even wanna do my camp. Well that’s me for you, I’m forever disturbing anyone and everyone around me even though i may not know ya that well. It all started after the 1 day event held in Sentosa. You caught my eyes.. from there onwards, i’ve decided to make an effort to know more bout you. Months past by, you just seem to surprised me in every way… to sum it up, You’re a Girlish Girl with an Attitude. Thats what i like in a girl and that is certainly is a Plus point. As much as i told myself i would not fall or get myself into another relationship despite what i’ve been through, it’s hard to predict our future for we could only plan and manage to the best of our ability but through time one’s mindset would changed as we progress on. The real jizz of it came only recently where i decided to step up and pluck the courage to further express myself. Knowing me, i would normally express through actions or by penning it down. It’s seriously hard for me to say it out face to face but i did it. Even though i fumble and paused a lot of times, i really did my best in expressing it. haha.. kinda funny when i think bout it but it was all worth the while. Didnt know it was a mutual thing bewteen us afterall the things and mean words or how irritating i can be, you still bare feelings for me. I couldnt find a proper word to describe how much i appreciate you, much to say i’m blessed to have eventually found a Princess like you. Honestly would want to sincerely apologize for all those meany words use on you, how irritating i can be. Certainly mean no harm, just a harmless dude who’s always seeking fun to spice up the life of everyone. At the end of the day, we do compliment each other well.
Princess, Let’s take it slow.. Let’s understand and communicate better.. Let’s be the best of what we can be.. Let’s path our journey together…
Much Love!
Surprisingly today met up with my blood brother, Pillay! My GOD, he have changed alot! i’m really happy for him now. The way he talk.. The way he looks.. The way he wants his life to be just makes me feel so happy for him. It’s always been a pleasure of mine to spend time with you talking bout life. It’s very meaningful and it does helps me to reflect on myself as well. No matter how busy i am or how long i’ve been ignoring you, there’s always a reason behind it. You are one of those whom i would never ever forget not even in my next life bro! After all that we have been through together, how could you expect me to leave you man! Ya a part of my family and ya have always been. REMEMBER THAT!!! Let’s do our normal catching up and chillin out like we always do. Believe the time have come for us to look forward and stirve for the best and nothing for the best bro! See spending time with you is all worth the while.. what we talk .. what we share.. we cant do it with others. The content of it are so meaningful to both you and me, as much as i share and guide you, i am also doing it formyself. Nobody knows you better then i do and nobody knows me better then you do man. Now we left with one more barger!!! Let’s work on him like how i work on yoou. He needs the wake up call! As much as i believe in my family and my princess.. i certainly believe in the both of you very much! only time will tell man. Like i’ve mention to you, i’ve two more friends which im currently nurturing, i really hope that i could introduce these two dudes to you guys. Fun pair of dudes.. kinda remind me of how we are back in those days!!
Well, there are many more to pen down but have to cut it short til here. Made a promise so i shouldn’t break it!! At the end of the day, nothing beats then penning down your thoughts and opinions! it really does helps you to reflect and think through all of the current and past events in your life. Definitely a healthy way!
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I’m looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me……
Just another one of those beautiful and meaningful nights spent with my one and the only.. Everyday is a cloud NINE day when i’m with you. Slowly things are starting to fall into place, getting to know you better day by day… seeing bits and pieces of you… never did you fail to surprise me with something new each time we meet. It’s just like fixing up a gigantic puzzle before my very eyes.
See I’m all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive…..
The littlest things that you did for me. No matter how nervous or unsure you are, you still did it. The time you cater to me even though you are tired after a hard days of work. Putting up with my nonsense, feeling irritated at times by my of behaviour. See, you don’t have to surprise me with things nor feel bad about not getting me anything for all of these littlest things really do pleased me loads and are truly deeply sincerely appreciated.
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love…..
Often a times i find it hard to express myself when i’m with you for at times i’m rather shy. I’m your giant with a sensitive side to it. At times, i would just blushed up when i’m with you. This 2 months have been a sweet filling.. fun loving.. and a chocolatey journey. Yes, it may still be early to determined anythhing… At times, i see myself in you… Be it in the past or now the current phase of our life.
Truly blessed to have found you. Fated to be? You would never know we once used to bump to another or even chat with one another during our younger days. Certain things are meant to be and i’m feeling it. Let’s go through this journey through thick and thin… good times and bad times… sweetness or bitterness… I will be there for you.
LIFE WAS BEAUTIFUL, EVEN BEFORE I MET YOU.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS IT BECOMES PERFECT.
PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL, WHEN I MET YOU……
Never have i felt so much love eversince i read those words last night. Every single word means a lot to me. Thank You Girlie…
As much i would like to keep it low.. but this time round i must express myself for i’m truly blessed and i’m proud to have you in my life…. There’s certainly more to come but these are the words which i felt to unleash for now.
JADED….
That’s the word which describe my present state of mind… I’m worn out!!! by WHAT? by WHOM?
Well everything around me is wearing me out to a point where i need to voice out in order to be heard loud and clear.. Supposedly to start blogging ever since the new year… where resolutions and everything else comes to place then again i just couldn’t find the time or merely lazy to blog. So many things happen lately, fair share of which are memories to be remembered dearly and of those you just wish it never happen..
Seems to me 08 is a very fast pace year for maself…. due to the fact that i am still taking things for granted doing it at my own pace or things just starts to overflow all around me… no matter what i will still take it in my stride and settle what needs to be done.. Up to date tommorrow will be my 8th or 9th camp as a CIC, well taking it slow and steady tho. I believe that i have improve as camp passes by and hopefully my colleagues are doing just as well as i am… Really hope i didn’t offend any of my colleagues be it from which ever department ya in or my instructors too… Loads of things happened in the past few months which got me thinking and thinking over and over again asking myself only this question, ” WHY ARE YOU SOME PEOPLE BEHAVING LIKE IDIOTS ” . Not pin pointing to anyone in particular just that i feel at times we are not handling things nor accepting things with an open heart. Always dwelling on the problem where we should find for solutions to solve the problem. WHY is it so hard people!!!! USE your bloody brain and think. Don’t only think that your angry at the spur moment and just lose control, What do you get at the end of the day?? And don’t even tell me i don’t care, it’s my life i do what i want to do. All i can say is good luck you will be wasted and be regarded as the scumps of society….. I am always around if anyone needs the listening ear, needs advice, needs a shoulder to cry on but if you don’t help yourself, i can never help you…. everyone have problems dudes and dudettes even i myself… but you just need to get hold of yourself, think rationally and i believe you can make it through. Remember there’s no failure only learning process!!! it’s how you look at thinks. Can never have too much of negativity nor positivity….. Okay… felt better now! This goes out to all of my friends and to those who reads my blog!!!!! not shooting to any particular soul…. just feel that i need to let it out!!!!!!!
Finally i am blogging again!!!! wahahahaha… took me bloody 4 months to finally blog. Apologies to Veron for i promise to blog about a few stuff especially GENTING TRIP but i didn’t. It was an unforgettable trip, WHY? cause i GAMBLE for my freaking first time. And yes I’m a MUSLIM!!!! people may think I’m a murtad (definition for murtad is those who are muslims but doing things which forbids them too) well the way i look at it…. My life is such that despite being brought up religiously by my family where I’ve spend my nursery and kindergarten days in a religious school, going for religious classes as years goes by, my family still live life as a westerner maybe due to the fact that my mum is an eurasian and my dad thai indon. We don’t really practice the life as a typical malay family would. I just have my fare share of reason for which I’m sure most of you would have known. My definition of how am I living my life, Experience all the things you wanted be it right or wrong, go through the process so as you progress in life you really know how to different shade the things you should do and the things you shouldn’t do in life. Nobody wanna commit sins nor living in doubt as age is catching up so why don’t you experience it when ya young and you can repent from your sins. Well all i can say is, To each it’s own. Everyone have painted how they wanna live their respective life.
THE LITTLEST THINGS….
Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That thing’s are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?
What is the first thing that comes to your mind after reading those phrase? First reaction, why so EMO!!!!
Well it’s how you want to interpret it, it could be bout loads of things, imagination must be wild~ Nonetheless it speaks of bout a relationship… well too many dreams sounds not practical!!! people will say stop dreaming, wake up and to your daily routine BUT those who dare to dream will head far beyond expectations…. Dare to Dream for dreams will give us the motivation to move on to greater heights in life!!!~
That’s all for now… till the next time which will be on wed after i break camp….
CHAOZ…….
