The Littlest Things

“Littlest Things”

Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin’
And I remember when you started callin’ me your miss’s
All the play fightin’, all the flirtatious disses
I’d tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don’t why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We’d spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin’ tea in bed
Watching DVD’s
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we’d buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There’s no one in the world that could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Somehow rather it kinda relates back to me.. Littlest things which I would need to get by day by day..                                                                                                         Really hope it’s not the end for I for the first time would really want to pursue our relationship to the next level…

Wondering Soul..

Dear Mojo,

Where have you been? how are you doing? Do you know i miss you a lot? And do you know a lot of people misses you too.. Please come back. We really miss you a lot. I can’t do this on my own, i need you to be here with me. Control my emotions.. Control my temper… Control my words used… Control my thinking… Control me!!!

I have been spending the pass 6 hours wondering around Chua Chu Kang. Thinking to myself.. what have i achieve? for myself, for my friends and for my beloved ones? To think again i have not been doing much in achieving alot of things but instead losing them at the end of the day. Do you know that my or should i say your most beloved one just ended our relationship today?  Yes, unexpected not at the time simply not at this very day. To think of it another 3 more days, it will be our 8 months anniversary. To think of it when i have planned to sit down and really talk things out. i got things to say, i got things  to proposed to her so that we can start 2009 afresh and definitely we can proved to ourself that we are not wasting each other time and all the promises that i made to her will finally be seen. But i was too late. i fume up today. As usual!! I’m sorry I’m such a failure mojo. It’s just my temper which i tried to control but it burst out. But honestly i don’t mean it to be this way. I gave her friendship band which she  made for me back. I feel that the way it was being pass to me was improper and i want her to wear it on for me. I didn’t mean to return to her as in not accepting her. You see that band she made for me was from her heart, 16 days in Laos not only was she doing a good deed but also thinking bout me 24/7. She put her heart and soul to it. I really love the band alot and i really appreciate it too but she got the wrong interpretation of it. I sincerely apologize for that. Then it blew into a heated argument.

She really wanted to talk things all out and settle it there and then. But i was in the right mind to. I know once too many a times we argue over the same incident. There i am either blaming myself or blaming her. Wait mojo before you even want to blame me please hear me out. You see we started our argument just before she started school and it carried on from there. At first i didn’t understand why? slowly as time goes on it’s in her nature. it’s not that she wants it this way nor she does not love me. Her love for me was different from other girls mojo. She showered me her love through a different light which took me sometime to notice and appreciate it. And i really accept her for who she is. Often a times we argue, i do told her what was wrong… and often a times i say i don’t expect much from her cause i know she is putting in her best effort. One way or another she really did her best. But at times i feel like, Tinkerbelle, can you see what i’m trying to get across to you. I’m not being calculative nor am i a tit for tat kinda guy. I simply just want you to see if certain things could be in place. For sometimes i need the assurance from you. It’s not that I don’t trust you at all. I do. I just want to feel secure. As how any normal relationship would be.s

From the very beginning you told me it’s impossible between us. In terms of different life style of ours, religion issues and most importantly family. But i promise her that i will work things out and ensure you it will be for the good of us. I promise loads of things to you and I’m simply doing my very best. After all I’m only human, i do make mistakes  and seriously loads of them. It’s not intentionally. i mean no harm except for a blissful journey for the both of us. That’s where mis-communication comes in. The differences between us make us tougher to tolerate one another. She kept giving me chances. Telling me to stop hurting myself. Telling me to look after myself. Telling me to cool myself down. Telling me alot of useful tips. She may not use the right words at times but it all came from her heart. And now she can’t take it anymore for she doesn’t want all of this to repeat again. Who wants too? Nobody wants it. Tinkerbelle, i have always been looking after myself. Doesn’t mean i don’t eat nor i don’t sleep I don’t look after myself. It’s just me. At times i go for days without eating all i need is water. That is just me. it’s not because I’m torturing myself. And i use to have Insomnia. I’ve gone through so many sleepless nights. What’s more when there’s problems. I tried my very best but this things it’s just me. Just like when i nag at you for not eating nor sleeping. You always tell me, i will eat when I’m hungry. Don’t worry I will find time to sleep or rest. All I need is a few hours. It goes just the same Tinkerbelle. I may nag, I may say loads of things but at the end of the day i thank The Almighty God that he have brought you to me. I must say i’m really bless to have you to take this journey of mine.

Mojo, remember you always have this MOTTO in you where the you would change the IMPOSSIBLE TO POSSIBLE? Remember? You always manage to succeed in it. And prove others wrong that you can do it even to your own family? I’m really sorry, I took the IMPOSSIBLE to only make it worst. I know I know I’m such a failure. Now she couldn’t take anymore. She don’t even believe in me anymore. I destroyed everything which was so dearly to me. It was simply devastating to hear those words from her. IT was like one of my bad dreams that i had. Gosh!! Now I really don’t have the chance to even tell her things on how i want to make things happen for us. I really hope you would give me the chance, listen me out. It takes time for a clay to mould into a fantastic shaped vase. It takes time for cherrie blossom to bloom. It takes time for a durian to ripe. Yes, i agree it has been a repeated cycle for the past few months. But i have come to my senses to what i need to do and what i need you to know. I really need your support as much as you needed mine. I know it’s tough handling yourself at the same time handling me who is always giving problems. I’m going through the same as you are.

You said you need the break up. You need your own time. You said it will do us both good. You said if I love you than set you free. You said you have made up your mind and nothing will stop you. You said you had enough and will never give me a chance at all. Tinkerbelle, I really do love you whole heartedly. I even grew emotionally attached to you. If you could really sit and listen to what i have to say respect your decision, I will set you free. Set the one you love free and if the person really love you, the person will return your love. The saying goes. Do I believe in that? Yes, I do. and if you really love me, you would return my love one day. Yes, it’s easy to be said than done. It takes time. Loads of time when we talk bout relationship. It’s painful to let you go.. It really does hurt alot and I know it’s hurting you too. Too even say those words. I will be patient. If we are really meant to be, we will reunite. If not, Tinkerbelle! I’m always here for you. In every way that you need my help, please do speak up and I will help you to the best of my ability. I’ve never stop loving you Candice.

All I need now is a chance. I know i should have done this sometime ago. To really sit down and really talk things out. I’m really sorry it took me quite awhile to come to my senses. I already planned for it. I really want to rectify all problems. I really want to talk bout us. I really want us to have a better improved relationship for the Year 2009 with you. I really want you to be happy and i want us to be happy together. Tinkerbelle, please grant me this wish and hear me out. I really need your support and believe on this. I really do. Til now I have not given up on you nor on us and I have never stop loving you. I really believe in you and in us. But it just took much more longer time then expected. Please Candice. Give me this chance to talk things out with you.

PS: Mojo if you only knew the pain that me and Candice is going through or have gone through, PLEASE come back! PLEASE I beg you for I really need your guidence.

Yours Sincerely,

Muhammad Razif